There’s nothing quite like hearing a song on the radio that describes exactly what I’m feeling. Having your feelings already put into words seems to calm my mind and put me at ease.
With the school season having just started, there’s a song that always reminds me of what it was like to start high school, and even what it was like to start as a freshman at college last year.
This song is “Fifteen” by Taylor Swift. The first verse goes like this:
“You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors/ it’s the morning of your very first day /You say ‘hi’ to your friends you ain’t seen in awhile/ try and stay out of everybody’s way/ It’s your freshman year and you’re gonna be here for the next four years in this town/ Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say ‘You know I haven’t seen you around, before.’”
That first verse is incredibly close to my experience in high school. I remember being so nervous.
Both starting high school and starting college are big life adjustments. You’re responsible for learning more information, you’re mixed with new groups of people, and you’re expected to survive.
Though most of us come out alive, it’s not an experience you soon forget.
When I chose to move 300 miles away from home to go to college, I was proud of myself. That was, until I got there.
When it was time to say my goodbyes and stay there by myself, I was kicking myself.
Barton Hall, my home at ISU
Why the heck did I choose to move so far away? When was I going to be able to go home? How exactly is this distance going to affect my relationships?
These questions and a million others swarmed through my mind as I murmured my hardest goodbyes.
Every aspect of my life changed. My relationships with my family, friends and boyfriend from home changed. So did my plans for my future. My living situation was different. I had to find new friends.
This was really upsetting at first. Change is always hard, but it’s especially hard when it all happens at one time.
But I persevered and came out better for it.
I looked inward as I always do when things get really tough for me, and I focused on the positive. I asked myself what I was gaining from this experience and what I was learning. Those questions always seem to guide me.
And now that I look back, I should have never been worried.
What I was most concerned about was living with a stranger and meeting new people. But it turned out that living with a random roommate and going to college with all new faces was a great plan for me.
My roommate, Amber and I
My roommate and I got along wonderfully. That doesn’t happen for everyone, but I was lucky enough to end up with a roommate who became my friend. And it turned out that everyone there was looking to meet people.
By the end of last year, in fact, my biggest fear was killing the centipedes that had seemed to invade our room.
Going back to school this year as a sophomore was way easier. I had no fears of getting lost, I knew my roommate, and I had a strong base of friends that I had met last year.
But my situation isn’t the only thing that’s different. I’m different, too.
So much in my life has changed in one year. I am now used to living away from my family, I am now used to being more independent and I am now used to relying on my circle of friends at school.
But worrying is a natural part of life, and I’m sure what I went through last year won’t be the last time I’ll find myself fretting about my life and my future.
When life is tough to accept, I like to find a song that fits my life. It can be so hard to explain to someone exactly what I’m feeling. So I let my favorite artist do the work, and I let my mind wander.
If you’re still adjusting to the new school year or some other change in your life, listen to Taylor and take a deep breath as you walk through the doors.
